Sunday, April 13, 2014

Summer Clothes Sample


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JC Penney

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Race under About Me


I will wear tanks in the summer.  BLEH.  I just got 3 Ts and 5 loungewear sets for @ $50 and $100, the later I got 1st.  In fact, I don't have them all yet and take things in to get hemmed, pants.

Chinese-Indonesians and the Ancient Indonesian-Taiwanese~! ;-]

Laissez les Bon Temps Roulez


Why would my dad say I'm in trouble with Ellen?  It was the noises as to the blog and otherwise outer pressure.  Why I cursed?  Well, obviously, I don't know, but I never did it to hurt people.  I mean not her.  Didn't go over the top.

I just feel it's rubbed in.  I am posting about it cuz it's like what?  In trouble with Ellen DeGeneres?  She's not a disciplinarian.

Another Week

I get to order the wig next Saturday.


I love this video of Bella Thorne's sister.  She certainly could be pretty famous, maybe even Johnny Depp material, which isn't saying much as far as broadcasting is concerned, take for instance Brad Pitt or Leo DC.


Bella Thorne

I like how she's treated with such respect.  I feel sorry for the guy who compared to me is older, as well, looks like the guy who's interviewed Tim Burton.

Acting Auditions

That big organization from Orlando. Mid-June! In Tampa. Gotta get ready, too late for Finding Dory.. :( Not sure @ Pirates of the Caribbean.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T


Sorry, Ellen, for my risque speaking.

How else should I say..


I guess Ellen never jokes about certain negative things.  I was upset and said she was m********ing in pleasure but didn't mean it in her face, just as a teaser, but I guess no one wants to ever tease.  I could have taken it down, even, but I thought they wanted to leave history behind so they could make fun of me and not talk to me.  Also, maybe, something worse would happen, maybe Ellen wishes people would forget about what I said even if they read it.  Anyway, it's not up anymore.  And I obviously was joking about the term, as well.  As I said, this is an apology.  I'm sure I've apologized already, too.

Kids Born in the Late 80s Think

we're simply mistakes, they can fix ^it all^.

I think I'm gonna go with this.

Ellen DeGeneres thinks we're the wrong kind of ^present^.  She likes people who are younger and more affluent.  Unless they're the same generation as her or there to give her a tickle or such as a parental aged figure.


What do you think about people joking around and getting close to me leaving concrete symbols calling me a nigger and threatening what they'll treat my kids like-  (not looking for a boyfriend|husband, not having kids now.)

and some cold gold OJ


I'm eating cooked navy beans with salt.

In case you didn't hear.. that video of "Let It Go," I am most like the French-Canadian.  I seem to have lost it..



What I Found

People will see someone and be like wow but me no I'm 1/2 Chinese I can't amount to anything in this world.


Why did Ellen seem so mad that you people set up something like a pizza club nearby for me to go to, she kept threatening you guys to pull me away from her.  I thought she had invited people to watch her show.  Not sure what was so angering her, but she seemed so downcast.  The point was still that she doesn't really want me to watch all the time and might pull away times.  Fridays she's free and doesn't want to spill into the weekend.  I can watch though in my room.  I mean, maybe that's the day I don't watch unless I feel okay or so she can feel a time when someone like me is not watching cuz she is so attentive..  I have a feeling it's something a bit different.  I wonder exactly why, just that I've had enough of her attention? so don't watch then?  I tried to occupy myself otherwise but still catch the show like I would any show.  I tried to get in a movie, tried to go to school.  Still trying to keep up but not be like inserting myself online all day like doing nothing.


Maybe, they wanted my hair white to suck up to them.


Ellen is more masculine but can still act like a girl, but to me she's incredibly hissy about her white hair as a child all the time.

I had white hair a little once, but then I guess my parents "made my hair black."


In that video I posted, I looked most French-Canadian, but Tim Burton cut me off and stole my goods.  I want it back.  I'm in Orlando.  Maybe for too long.  I'm trying to get in a movie.


I was thinking about how much I loved my dad and how he's busy, but I thought I would be got at for feeling something good about myself while others don't-!



They are referring to me being ugly while still in school.


I think Ellen wants me to do something, but I already said sorry and it was something that no one else puts up with.  She was mad at me from the start.

She wants me to always feel guilty cuz when I stop acting bad she thinks something was wrong with me and doesn't know why I was upset - cuz I think I have a right to do what I want and wasn't starting anything, merely talking about what others always do, nothing much else to talk about that comes to mind.  Oh look a fish!  What?


I can't go through life like this, always feeling wrong and Ellen always feeling right, though she should feel right, herself!


I still feel stimulated but in a wrong way.


I'd like to record "Love, I Hear" from "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum." What should do? Thanks.


Why is it worth it to insult me and give me something to talk about?  Someone said no one I like is available to touch me, bleh.  I don't want people I like even less touching me instead that I would not allow.  This was not like this before.  You think I'm some ragged type of hermit.


Why did some men like on MySpace try to get too close to me when it's no?


It's hard to sing.


Is it just me or did my neighbor just stimulate me?  I'm singing in the garage..  Central Florida is annoying.  You are not welcome to r*** me, whatever that means to you..

Acting Like a Kid

What do you think of people like Johnny Depp and the English taking the glory young adults today are supposed to take?  No offense, just saying..  I mean that people don't seem to react anymore to that stuff, like it's over with for anyone like we're too old when we're much younger.


My dad has always been a bit differentiated from me and my demeanor and ruined my chance with Ellen, mirroring her.

It's not all bad.  I'm just saying.  I'm sure it's not perfect and not a success.

You all are so weird.

You think I will never amount to Ellen but Nell Burton amounts to more than me.


I feel I've dropped and the casting agencies won't pick me up.



OK New Topic

Is Ellen wrong?  No, she is right.  Some people just say you don't deserve her, but we all sense we do.  We watch as a group and we talk.  We compete for her attention online and try to get on her show if possible..

Good Things @ Ellen


What You Don't Even Understand

I was only upset at people being mean to me via watching me in private, the experiment.  I didn't do anything nasty|disgusting.  I just cursed out of anger and not usually at all at anyone.  I don't know what some people are smoking.

1st you, why, and, then, you..

1st, you ignore it.
Then, you detach it.

Eventually, you will be able to embrace it.


end of About Me


..know that feeling we all get we wanna get away from someone after they've touched us??

My Belief

Ellen is abnormal because of certain people.

It's okay.

Some people here I don't wanna communicate with much.


I don't wanna feel more just because I said that.  I don't like how this method is used to make me feel worse.


..I tried to get rid of it.

I mean..'s okay, but it made me ask a question.

What I Do

I do not need to be touched when certain people are present.


So, the people in here made me feel touched, and I don't like it - it's inappropriate.  I don't allow myself to be felt up by some people.

So, Ellen thinks I'm not really that impressive.  Well, okay..  I write what I write.  She posts twangy stuff.  Notice how much it's about her and not you cuz you aren't ready.  You'd better hurry up.

I support you!

I will be a good citizen online and post videos of me talking and nice pictures.  My mom is probably getting me a wig today!  So, I'll see everyone in a week or so?

I tried making and participating in a forum of you, too.

Another regiment for my physical and mental well-being is jogging each day and taking vitamins.  I seem to have slipped in that way.

All the best for you!

OK, ya'll, xoxo!


I lost my chance with Ellen, being on her positive radar, but then again maybe something happened to her when I lost it.

I'm so sad, you see it happened after Frankenweenie and something had come over me, but just notice.

I got the idea she was dying and aging.  So sad.  I don't know what to depend on.. I mean, if Ellen is getting old, so are other people, just not me.  I am a bit old, I must admit, more like 30.  I think I can do this.  What about how she didn't want me to necessarily watch Fridays to have a break?  Makes sense, but it's a revolving joke that was affected by others.  It may even be detrimental.  People want to do something to me, to hurt me.  I dunno.. what should I do?  I deserve to be an actress.  It's just I'm still growing my hair.  4 months?  When the show starts up, my hair will be long, again.

I feel threatened that my dad could get her show canceled, or she may decide to change her mind.  I just heard something.  Let's not let this happen.  All I did was I was able to ignore insults, I didn't do anything, and now this.  I also want to ignore stuff that would gray my hair.  I'm beginning to feel suicidal.  My dad is a bit older and acts like he's younger in some ways than these attractive adults born around 1960.  No one else, neither, will seem to get together with me.  I gotta look for stuff to do, like the library, ballroom dancing.  I have my Mad Cow audition the beginning of May, where I sing to do something during the school year.  I did feel drained of future kids getting the blue beta at Wal-Mart as I wandered around and feel my dad is skittish about how I can give it away.  We have to go on a Saturday.  I'll have to ask to make sure of it again.  Who knows, maybe we'll go another time.  I got a fish cuz I felt like I was settled, but I'm not settled to the fish.  I feel so blamed like I don't deserve to give it away.  I want another pet now that I wanna give away later maybe.  Maybe a bird.  I heard they are noisy at night, but so was that female hamster.  I feel my life is not okay, yet.  Ellen is about other people, so don't say no it's not about you all, it's about Ellen.  That's just fluff.  I mean it is about her but not in a certain way.  There are lots of young people on her show.  I wonder if she will quit because there aren't many young stars.  I am trying to get there.  I feel lazy, like I have no impetus to work out.  I go to the gym and swim with my dad lie 3 days a week for like 30 minutes.  I'm trying to jog each day.  I miss calling my Gramma, but I am so overwhelmed by how inactive I am and like how people like Ellen can >come and go< because it is sad and I have to cope.  I think she made herself clear the only way she'd disappear is by death.  I haven't been mean to her lately, seems I had coughed up a couple furballs and found she was tracking me.  Seems too late!!  Before, I hadn't talked about her much at home.  My blogs weren't as bad as I thought before.  I think I got mad but it was at no one or more comfortable to my dad.. I didn't get gross, but I did curse and say *beep*.  I don't wanna pay for it because I mean what.. I've explained and apologized.  I already had enough to worry about online.  I was never set up right for the internet.  My friends made me jealous on MySpace and I lost my friends by spam and being upset but not like grossly nasty.  You might call it precisely that, though.  It just wasn't right and was cuza the world changing because of Johnny Depp as like Willy Wonka or being hoarded after in Pirates of the Caribbean, which I had not seen before.  Ellen left on an unsettled note, I felt, but I trust in her in like if her show stops like that she still exists and people will tell us about her and maybe she will still be able to be publicized.  She is much younger than Jay who just retired, so, but she seems she's done it so much like that something should be different.  She doesn't seem to wanna meet just anyone, but she's with Portia.  What can we do?  Maybe, we have to change our ways, but we're cool, right?


Am I eligible?

I want to be a talk show host like Ellen DeGeneres and a movie actress maybe to start.

So, I want to do General Broadcasting.  I have 1 semester where I should have had withdrawals, but instead it's all F's.  The rest however is above a 4.0.  The bad semester was at Valencia.  I might be able to get the grades withdrawn, but it's hard to convince them I was not well.  I was told to go on a break and I took 18 hours online and didn't finish and for some reason was confused and didn't withdraw.  I was told just to tell my story.  Anyway, I have like 50 hours of a 3.0 like the requirements said.  So, I was wondering more if this program would meet my needs or what program would.  For instance, I also wanna be a classical singer and sing just on my own though used to be a music major.  I don't wanna major in Theater cuz I don't wanna act on stage and that's what its sentiment is.  I know Communications is for people to host on TV.  At my college they had a major called Communications + Theater, so I assume my wish to be an actor also will be helped.  I don't know if it would make sense to minor in Film or not with such a busy schedule.  I just found out that it allows room for a required minor so guess I'm all set!


Christina Barrett


Communications is listed as a Radio-TV major @ UCF - link:

+ required minor - Film!


I asked my mom to get the curly, red wig.  I have 2 blonde 1s, but they are lighter than I expected.


I added Czech-Jewish to my race.

Ellen DeGeneres

Why did she act so mad about me watching her show on Fridays?  She acted like you all have to go and get me to go out Fridays and my dad that it ruins his weekend if I watch Ellen DeGeneres then.  But she acted mad.  She seemed to be threatening looking at where her mom sits.

Last week I wasn't up for catching up on her show.  Johnny Depp was just on, and she even showed her dressed up long ago looking like Helena Bonham Carter, Tim Burton's girlfriend|partner, with 2 kids, like Depp, 1 boy 1 girl.

Also, yesterday, I realized I must have developed a small, delicate spine.

Anyway, what of Ellen acting so upset about watching her show, like, so much?  I already have Saturday and Sunday and can double up a day watching her show, though I don't actually, a bit much now.  I think it was because of Ginny and taking her classes.  She's paranoid about me..  It doesn't make sense.  I thought people should only watch some of her shows if they lead busy schedules.  I don't have a busy schedule.

I'm getting another feeling of being mad at other people suffering around me certain ways they are, like it could be them and not me.It seems like it's not enough to miss some of her show when my life is not that busy. 

Supposedly, it's to prepare.  The thing really is I like the show and I seem to be getting on the ball with it and it's fun now.  She seemed daringly threatening that people pull me away from it.  I had finally found out a way that makes sense to be more normal and not as upset seeming around others.  It just hurts my feelings.  I set my mental clock up to do this again or in a way that fits my schedule finally.  I watch it either @ 3 or around 8.  It also is like my mom saying not to go to a bar after midnight nor maybe at all.  I do like to go to the mall but lately haven't and won't this week cuz we're using my money for 3 sets of clothes.  You know, I've thrown up when my spine hurt twice this week.  Also, Ellen and Burton have set up people to be close to me I don't want like that just because I liked them so much..  My dad does not seem to want me to reserve fun time.  It's probably a joke.  They don't even care about me having fun.  You know, for college, I want to do Communications.  It's the best prep for acting.  I'll have to ask them about my plan.  Can you see Ellen acting supper upset about us being the same?  What "got into her" when Johnny Depp came?  Did she talk to Tim Burton?  If she bumps off a day like she bumped off her on Twitter on the weekend, what will she bump off next, nothing left like it?  In the end to say that she doesn't like me anymore and we can go our separate ways?  Why didn't my parents in some extent let me go my separate way?  I'm not listening to this, but if Ellen really wants that I'd do it.  I feel challenged and like I'm "shit."  What's the big deal if I watch the show 4 or 5 days??  I feel Johnny Depp called me "shit."  I forget what else exactly but that he thinks I'm not good enough for her.  It's just that I do have time to watch it and have nothing to do right now.  I made it a thing to watch all her shows.  I feel insulted for thinking it matters to her that I watch all the episodes.

I know it's not because she left Lousiana in the end, that's just a substitute reason that so happens to be.  Also, Helena Bonham Carter.. she acts like there's something against me that's okay with her.. What did I start, nothing?

She wants to be online more for younger people but is upset I'm there.  I wondered and she drew me in daily.  I don't like being treated like I'm "shit."  I want to know why.  She acted mad if I didn't always follow before rather than ever happy about a compliment.  I just wanted to give her a break, but everyone else follows her.  I feel that she is doing this for some reason, might be important, like she's getting old, though I wonder why that'd matter.  She's acting like my old friends and Nell Burton like making up a reason to get away from me.  I bet Johnny Depp did it, so I know it's not right.  He has a thing, and they make him have a thing.  It's also supposedly cuz I had a hard time and I go through it rather than like *** as a regiment.  It's the only way.  Why start bumping off days?  Her show is a daily experience.  What about before?  Why did she show off so much and act so show offy when she presented the idea at the end of her show?  She acted like she's been bad to do it as a token for Johnny Depp.  There does seem a difference between catching all 5 episodes a week than the 1st 4.  I feel there will be no explanation.

Ever since the incidents at school, I haven't been able to leave the house after 11 nor go a ways when it's dark.  Said I wanted to go dance at a bar and was not allowed late there at least.

I mean, though, she expressed her anger like I'm bad and can't do that and don't want to.  What happened?  I don't really believe it.  I don't think it matters.  She doesn't have to think about people watching her every day.. she thinks I' did it like I was homeless and wouldn't have her on schedule later.  I'm just volunteering at the SPCA for 4 hours a week for 2 months, hopefully 2 hours 2 days.  It's to prepare for working somewhere that suits me.  I go to a social group 1 1/2 hours a week now.  I could go to another for an hour.

Ellen was acting so strange like it was all about her, too, like she was mad.  Like she was stimulated thrashing around.  Like she was doing it for "who she really likes."  Why not talk about that rather than do something like take it out on me when you're mad?!  She took out stuff on me, an innocent person, from the start.  Things got better, and she got upset.  I never was really guilty to begin with.  She's just ^special^ no harm intended.  It's like they all met together and did this, so I will not listen.  This is for Ellen!  I was upset at how others were acting about things I did by accident and the like.  They are not to be upset.. but they've changed how things are.  I want that kinda stuff outta the way.  You can't plague me like that.  This is not an okay pattern.  You can't tell me what to do.  You don't know what you're doing.  I don't believe in playing around with me like that.

Ugh.. I need breakfast methinks soon.  Nothing cooking, will make a smoothie.

I threw up all my supper and maybe more yesterday.  It helped my spine to stop hurting.  It didn't tingle and hurt as much a before when I threw up.

I don't believe in playing around disciplining me to make others happy when I'm good and they weren't!

Why can't Ellen seem to ask in a nicer way?  I don't like her changed feelings to make up for when she was mean to me and I posted it.  What, you just don't like curse words cuz I have a right to use them?  I don't think they mean anything bad.  I just found that people -don't-want-us-to-use-them- like they can once in awhile and it's okay then, those olderladoes.  She didn't get mad before, waited until I could take it.  Well, I don't take it.  I've somehow learned that I should ignore it and things in general, but I don't need to be taught any lesson to do it.  I just need an idea.  That's why I have a blog to comment on.  No one is too good for a good blog like that.. though most of it talks about bad problems.  I think Ellen just doesn't like me.  Maybe, I need to start over.

So, what of this?  I am not getting much help online.  I am still watching cuz I think she's kidding, and I don't listen to constant kidding..  She seemed like she meant it in a bad way.  I think it doesn't matter, and I'll have to see what happens to see if it's real and serious.  Cuz I can't just listen if I know it's a secret stimulating punishment again cuz they all are doing that and it ain't right.  It does form a pattern because it could.  My life is dwindling away?  Well, I still am alive.  I also got wind she is getting too old and this would help.  She looked at me funny and longingly like I should go, like showing off what her mama allows her to do in the world and what I can't even.  Acting all like she feels something so much about letting me go, so longingly, and like sorta acting out.  How would what she does make me feel?  Do you want to listen to annoying things all the time for watching the show?  This is upsetting.  Supposedly, she did this for my dad and now it's done.  I already spend time with my dad.  I know that's just a joke.  I think it's just a punishment.  What do I do up alone in my room?  I watch the show.  I have no money and no car, so I can't step out, which I think it would be a curse.  It really doesn't make sense to someone in some teen.  So yea it just makes me sad the way it's done.  It is the feeling of a punishment, the asking.  But she used to act like I should always watch it and follow her.  I just got in the regiment.  What if she takes off another day?  Like when I work?  I'll be working part time.  I don't know if that's a punishment, neither.  I could get a school loan, but I hope for both.  I don't wanna miss Ellen, what if she goes off the air?  I was not made for too much work as a joke. I mean, I still have time now.  It'll be summer, and she'll be off.  Maybe, she wants to joke around without me.  I still think it was just for Depp and Burton.  I don't take that.  You can't control me.  I am popular enough that they can't do that.  That's just silly, the nature of them.  I will not listen if that's Burton! nor Depp!  I think Ellen wants me to watch still, goes faster, so I will.  You can't hurt us.  When I work, I may take a day off who knows but hope not.  I would watch something else, instead, which I do sometimes and like while I'm online or going to bed.

At least, I care about this, seeing how much I wrote.  This incident put with Depp and Burton.  My take is Ellen did it for them and thought it'd come up cuz Depp and Burton are mean to me and think I'm Chinese "crap."  They think I'm "not in."  Well, I got the day to set myself up again online I guess.  :-|