Friday, April 11, 2014


For being suggestive @ birth year so outright.

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Sorry I was upset, things always changing.

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Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T


may or may not post

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Someone's Up on Twitter

That's not the answer to the question.  I know she's thinking about it.  Maybe she has an issue..


You all were mean to me, so I don't care what you think is right.  I was just feeling better, and you always do something.

I'm just saying the truth.  You set me up for loneliness.  I know you said that for no reason, I was enjoying the show.  Simply put.  Time to put this on IMDb.


If someone said, "Ellen said not to watch on Fridays" and then "because.." I'd be like fine.  At least I have 10 more episodes of another show to look forward to on Sundays.  But if it's like this, I mean.. I guess I should watch the show like everyone else is allowed to.  I will not listen otherwise because also you imply I wanna see my dad so much more when I already live with him but in a sick message.


She used to be upset if we didn't watch it all.  I feel it is just something that came out that I have to overcome.  My parents and her started being mean to me.  Why does she like me less now, also?  I am kinda getting better.  Why 3 days w/o watching the show now?  I like her, but I mean, I don't feel welcome..


Does Ellen really want me to stop but not others?  Why?  What?  That's really weird and feels like not enough of watching her show as a person in the world with a TV who likes her show a lot!  If she wants to do it differently of course should be fine.  I just feel she likes me less.  So, I'll watch.  I kinda miss how things were in a way and wish things were looking up for me.  No agency has contacted me.


I want MY week, not 3 days farting @ with dad.  It's 4 1/2 days of the week I watch daytime TV.

Well, yes, I like having fun with my dad part of the weekend and it was fun when we used to see 2 movies more often and I recorded it when MySpace had a space.


I wasn't constantly bashing Ellen, but people try to pry me away from watching and enjoying the show apparently.

I just was wondering about the constant insults and had to include that it was supposedly via her decision.

I feel the experience has been soaked away.  You can't just keep me from watching a TV show I like that's good.


I don't like secret messages like that.  I think I am supposed to watch the show every day..?  Why get so mad at me?  What's gonna happen on Fridays?  Is it for the kids's weekends?  What about me??  It's a public TV show.  Friday must be a good day.  You know, she used to post more on Twitter.  She really has something over me.  Everyone tries to protect her like she's more of a lady.  I wonder how they manage.

It's just a mixed message because of someone onboard this shit experience.  I've already said this experience is shit.  It's not safe, obviously not fullproof.  No one says maybe you shouldn't watch my show I dunno on Fridays via symbols in communication and never saying it.  That's a way to do something in secret.  I will continue to watch the show if I don't know otherwise.


What if my dad made my female baby part turn off like it's old?  Why are people so mean to me?  This isn't fair.  They're acting like I'm a robot.  I've been trying not to feel stress so much lately, so not sure what happened.


My dad was beating me up with grunts and squeaks about not watching Ellen on Fridays so he can enjoy the weekend and so Ellen can have a break from me seeing her.  She wants to disconnect from me cuz it was just for my dad, but all I get in the argument is grunts and squeaks.  I wasn't able to see her show all the time recently, and now I miss it more.  I'm not responsible for what she choses to see online.

What I'm Doing With My Money

I will use it for food, clothes, necessities, and, if I have extra, fun stuff.  I am gonna eat out like @ Panera.  I'm worried, at this point, about getting cancer.  Diabetes-I probably already have it.



Amira Willighagen - Nessun Dorma

I posted this yesterday.  I think this is the best.



I folded a basket of laundry from last week.

I have some things still hanging.

I ironed 2 loads of things hanging.

I have been washing 2 loads.

Later, the dishes, wanna watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  I'm showered but need to change and put on makeup.  Was gonna go outside.

I'm upset, yea, because things aren't going smoothly|right, but I cooled down, did not mean anything, just kinda like I said felt totally cornered.  So, I just seethed I guess and finally figured I could post what was wrong later to like figure it out and let people know something that might be important for me.

Sorry for any of the bad things that came to my mind, maybe just 2 concrete things I didn't formulate on purpose.  I figure since I started cursing @ the noises I heard no one likes me, but I can find people in the outcasts.

Slove Singing

She sounds beautiful.

I should be busy working.

I feel so downtrodden.


Why does everyone who meets my mom have a fit and not wanna like me even though in some ways I'm better?  They don't even know how much she's a lie to me, acting like I'm a flawed part of my dad..


My dad just pokes at me and irritates me giving me a feeling of wanting to hit and throw and break things.


They assimilated 2 people in a certain way, I think.


They went unnecessarily further into something just because I posted about something they dipped in.


Sorry if I hurt your feelings.


I feel I am being terrorized until I really am damaged.  That's when I pick up and walk away.  Things cannot linger like this since coming home from college just because I flunked to get out.


Why do people close me up to people in ways I don't like?  Then, they say it's something I did.  That's something that's hard to fix.  I feel turned off and not good.  No one does that.  I can already feel the stress triggers like all about.  It's a real message, not just some thing to overcome and live through.  This is my life.  Why should I give in for a new 1?  How have I lived a proper life?  You all always bug me about that I don't live life.