Saturday, April 12, 2014
See
She's there with her mechanized past telling us we aren't as good and she's just sitting in her chair like she's had a perfect past and our lives are never as good as we think and never better around her in a way or in some ways.
Problem
People won't stop provoking me to be had and wanna h*** them for not being perfect, like in looks.
My dad pretended to create a daughter for me and said, "Make it European."
My dad pretended to create a daughter for me and said, "Make it European."
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Ooh Scary
Today, my dad was acting scared when I acted like the Willy Brothers in Home on the Range from 2003-4. I guess this is it!
A Whole New World - Topic
I notice that people who are older than me demonstrate liking people my dad's age, born 1950, as a dad. I know that some age of guys really stimulates them. I think it's arousing because the people born 10 years later are best. I think though that people 5 years older [than me] are young enough to have someone Ellen DeGeneres's age as their mom.
Chopin - I mean Shopping.
I am gonna get 3 sets of clothes, I think I said, black tights and 3 3/4 shirts I found. Next week, I can get the new book by Jane Fonda on what it's like being a teen or younger teen maybe, even like for me it was preteen..
Was that okay?
I said getting a kick outta something? More satisfaction in teaching someone a lesson?
"The Ellen DeGeneres Show"
Johnny Depp was on the show this time. I found him to really be on it. He seemed more positive and less depressed than Ellen DeGeneres. I want to post to help myself and to others out. However, I noticed Ellen DeGeneres likes to be like a baby, like no this is this and that is that. She used to be able to not do that. I came to the conclusion that Ellen DeGeneres does not give young people who look good a hard time, like age 17. I'm 27, not 15 or 16. In saying "a hard time" I mean like with me she often says no to a lot of things for no reason. She seems to be demonstrating herself to what the teens should follow of her, yet she doesn't really care as much about them supposedly because she might get more a kick outta sad to say quitting the show, though she also might want some sort of relief as in rest. I only hope that she could like take off a year and see how old she really feels.
My Belief
A friend is not someone who lets your body be ruined and makes you uncomfortable all day long. There is always some excuse, but I don't live that way. I think it religiously wrong. Sometimes, I don't think there really is a reason. I know other people don't get hurt just because no one hurts them.
Why did Ellen stop Tweeting? Because she wasn't aware! #ClassicJokeSaturday
— Christina Joanna (@Xtina_Barrett) April 12, 2014
Suicidal
If people were always picking at you like to start would you listen on the inside? What about people thinking they can actually damage you by making a certain style of noise next time they make 1? Psyching you as trash and death, like you never mattered?
So.
You pretend to be mean to me when something is wrong to you and claim that it was just to say something.
Problem
You should not really be prowling me out for my language in the 1st place. No one is close to me in my life. No one ever helped me out.
Nothing could make me more mad than..
..someone doing something cuz I thought of something inappropriate and to go overload in my brain.
Can someone explain
why Simon Cowell is acting like Ellen DeGeneres cuz it makes it seem tacky? I only want what's best for him, that's all. How could Ellen do this? It's not right. I think she wants me to chase him. For some reason I don't know, I don't see it happening like this. All I can say is he's Jewish. :-| I just mean I don't think he should act tacky so someone will chase him. So, in essence, there's something bigger going on here. I never stepped up and said I was better than Ellen, and I don't think that way.
Problem
You can't just get mad at me for my health. I'm working on it!
If I had a better setup, I would have 0 problems. Now, that's a fact to behold. I am connected to those uncomfortable with me.
If I had a better setup, I would have 0 problems. Now, that's a fact to behold. I am connected to those uncomfortable with me.
Apology
Sorry for my reaction to Ellen, but you think you can speak for her that I not watch the show when I'm makin' it.
What Bothers Me @ Ellen
Like, a teenager will act all-knowing over me but still like they're so much younger, and Ellen makes a big deal of it like ooh.. you think such and such.. well, and yes.
Problem
Sorry, if a bad thought comes up that you don't like, but some things just happen I think, too. They don't mean what you want to think!
Problem
In your deluded world, you think you can say whatever you want, like ooh I'm uncomfortable with something that's for Christina so I'm gonna make a move and do something like Christina is the 1 who doesn't know what she's doing and I'm insulted by her supposed success.
And for some reason a lotta people hold grudges against me. Things hare not happy, they don't care about things and think someone said not to do them cuz that's what they wanna hear. Now, you tell me to bow down to those younger than me all the time?
And for some reason a lotta people hold grudges against me. Things hare not happy, they don't care about things and think someone said not to do them cuz that's what they wanna hear. Now, you tell me to bow down to those younger than me all the time?
Sad
No one agrees. She just did that in case or because she sends messages, too.
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Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Graying My Hair
I said I was ignoring the insults. Ellen sent the message suggesting skipping her Friday show.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Fridays
So, Friday's the easy day, the cutoff day, the 1 where it's just fun. Ellen was having fun. I think we should still watch Friday?
Getting Mad @ Ellen?
I only did that in my head when it came, I don't like to do that. I claim not to be vicious about people. I do that sometimes when I see them cuz they are annoying me. I try to ignore those things now. It can make you old, and so can worrying about things like this, like if Ellen wants me to watch Friday. I think she does, but I mean she can speak to whatever crowd she likes! I know there's a reason I'm feeling ticky LOL.
Ellen's Problem
I just had a revelation that with kids my age it's when they wanna act like she's older, like they want things that kids want with older parents, like ooh I am the Lion King king and I'm all rowdy and nothing should look pretty. I mean, come on, she looks like she's born in the late 60s or 70s and is there for people born then at the same time, like a parent!
Problem
Ever since moving to Orlando, my parents have been teaching me little secret messages like if I do this they do that. Orlando's shit. Also, I know you all don't wanna do this. If you play that game proves you're a "moron."
Problem
Also, I keep feeling unsatisfied, like maybe me trying to m******** won't cease my torture. I saw Nell Burton's mom, Helena Bonham Carter, using Nell as PDA and not being very, I dunno, like getting a grip on her completely. I know why, it's cuz her dad in The Nightmare Before Christmas had Jack go up on the hill and not make it his peak moment. This has gone on a long time, and it's like following these things like a journal in my life.
Problem
I tried to sign into Twitter on Internet Browser and had to type in the password and it didn't work.
It does hurt me..
..@ watching on Fridays. I think I even was told that that was a joke. Now, that person watching will make fun of me for saying oh it's just a joke! That's not what's important. It's what the message was cuz if Ellen doesn't want me to watch Fridays, I mean it's her show. Also, I got a wasteful message about me and Lily Depp watching over Nell like we're fascinated she's younger. It doesn't work that way. You judge by who they are. You didn't say it in a nice way. It was an annoying way like you said I would meditate on my cousin as spoiled or even at all! in a way that makes me look bad. I don't feel ways like that, bad ways. You guys all just keep bothering me, and it's like there was nothing to do most of the time.
Problem
Ellen doesn't like me. I just had to transfer my blog today to a browser where I have to go in and edit something each time. It's been awhile this time, too. Ellen did it, she can't get mad and do weird things because of it. I got wind I "can't watch" Fridays "cuza my dad" wanting weird things, too.
She keeps sending me insulting secret messages. She started doing it on the show. How is that okay? I am nice to her. I was just mad at the insults! Someone else mighta done it. If you know she did it, why don't you say something? Why doesn't she? I'm being ignored like I'm just a machine. It makes me feel bad. Other people have irritated me, as well, and it makes me wanna like squirm around in some way or hit something or h*** someone, often the 1 who did it. Ellen says it's important to know she did it. What is the point in that? She also claimed it was cuz I was born when she wasn't 32 yet. She thinks they shoulda waited, and I think she shoulda, too. This person is not liking watching me and keeps saving the message like I'm not good enough if Ellen wants to read it. Essentially, I don't care if she reads it, I wouldn't go berserk. I wish my blog were something that people would wanna read.
Also, my eyes I've been playing with, and SHE is uneasey and playing them back to not be as pretty. These are my eyes, and she said not to watch Fridays! She didn't literally, but I am still gonna cuz I think she's kidding around with a vague message. Supposedly, it's cuz my dad wants me on the weekend, but I'm too old to be in his own tutelage. I am free to live in the world, whether it's working nights or weekends.
She keeps sending me insulting secret messages. She started doing it on the show. How is that okay? I am nice to her. I was just mad at the insults! Someone else mighta done it. If you know she did it, why don't you say something? Why doesn't she? I'm being ignored like I'm just a machine. It makes me feel bad. Other people have irritated me, as well, and it makes me wanna like squirm around in some way or hit something or h*** someone, often the 1 who did it. Ellen says it's important to know she did it. What is the point in that? She also claimed it was cuz I was born when she wasn't 32 yet. She thinks they shoulda waited, and I think she shoulda, too. This person is not liking watching me and keeps saving the message like I'm not good enough if Ellen wants to read it. Essentially, I don't care if she reads it, I wouldn't go berserk. I wish my blog were something that people would wanna read.
Also, my eyes I've been playing with, and SHE is uneasey and playing them back to not be as pretty. These are my eyes, and she said not to watch Fridays! She didn't literally, but I am still gonna cuz I think she's kidding around with a vague message. Supposedly, it's cuz my dad wants me on the weekend, but I'm too old to be in his own tutelage. I am free to live in the world, whether it's working nights or weekends.
Problem
It hit me that I have a problem with anyone punishing me for cursing about being annoyed by the noises in my room.
Friday, April 11, 2014
Someone's Up on Twitter
That's not the answer to the question. I know she's thinking about it. Maybe she has an issue..
Problem
You all were mean to me, so I don't care what you think is right. I was just feeling better, and you always do something.
I'm just saying the truth. You set me up for loneliness. I know you said that for no reason, I was enjoying the show. Simply put. Time to put this on IMDb.
I'm just saying the truth. You set me up for loneliness. I know you said that for no reason, I was enjoying the show. Simply put. Time to put this on IMDb.
Problem
If someone said, "Ellen said not to watch on Fridays" and then "because.." I'd be like fine. At least I have 10 more episodes of another show to look forward to on Sundays. But if it's like this, I mean.. I guess I should watch the show like everyone else is allowed to. I will not listen otherwise because also you imply I wanna see my dad so much more when I already live with him but in a sick message.
Issue
She used to be upset if we didn't watch it all. I feel it is just something that came out that I have to overcome. My parents and her started being mean to me. Why does she like me less now, also? I am kinda getting better. Why 3 days w/o watching the show now? I like her, but I mean, I don't feel welcome..
Question
Does Ellen really want me to stop but not others? Why? What? That's really weird and feels like not enough of watching her show as a person in the world with a TV who likes her show a lot! If she wants to do it differently of course should be fine. I just feel she likes me less. So, I'll watch. I kinda miss how things were in a way and wish things were looking up for me. No agency has contacted me.
Decided
I want MY week, not 3 days farting @ with dad. It's 4 1/2 days of the week I watch daytime TV.
Well, yes, I like having fun with my dad part of the weekend and it was fun when we used to see 2 movies more often and I recorded it when MySpace had a space.
Well, yes, I like having fun with my dad part of the weekend and it was fun when we used to see 2 movies more often and I recorded it when MySpace had a space.
Well
I wasn't constantly bashing Ellen, but people try to pry me away from watching and enjoying the show apparently.
I just was wondering about the constant insults and had to include that it was supposedly via her decision.
I feel the experience has been soaked away. You can't just keep me from watching a TV show I like that's good.
I just was wondering about the constant insults and had to include that it was supposedly via her decision.
I feel the experience has been soaked away. You can't just keep me from watching a TV show I like that's good.
Problem
I don't like secret messages like that. I think I am supposed to watch the show every day..? Why get so mad at me? What's gonna happen on Fridays? Is it for the kids's weekends? What about me?? It's a public TV show. Friday must be a good day. You know, she used to post more on Twitter. She really has something over me. Everyone tries to protect her like she's more of a lady. I wonder how they manage.
It's just a mixed message because of someone onboard this shit experience. I've already said this experience is shit. It's not safe, obviously not fullproof. No one says maybe you shouldn't watch my show I dunno on Fridays via symbols in communication and never saying it. That's a way to do something in secret. I will continue to watch the show if I don't know otherwise.
It's just a mixed message because of someone onboard this shit experience. I've already said this experience is shit. It's not safe, obviously not fullproof. No one says maybe you shouldn't watch my show I dunno on Fridays via symbols in communication and never saying it. That's a way to do something in secret. I will continue to watch the show if I don't know otherwise.
Problem
What if my dad made my female baby part turn off like it's old? Why are people so mean to me? This isn't fair. They're acting like I'm a robot. I've been trying not to feel stress so much lately, so not sure what happened.
Problem
My dad was beating me up with grunts and squeaks about not watching Ellen on Fridays so he can enjoy the weekend and so Ellen can have a break from me seeing her. She wants to disconnect from me cuz it was just for my dad, but all I get in the argument is grunts and squeaks. I wasn't able to see her show all the time recently, and now I miss it more. I'm not responsible for what she choses to see online.
What I'm Doing With My Money
I will use it for food, clothes, necessities, and, if I have extra, fun stuff. I am gonna eat out like @ Panera. I'm worried, at this point, about getting cancer. Diabetes-I probably already have it.
@TheEllenShow Poor cat and poor horse. That cat must be an albino! Pink on your eyes okay, but blue|pink hair-no! I recall as a kid petting.
— Christina Joanna (@XtinasFriends) April 11, 2014
Chores
I folded a basket of laundry from last week.
I have some things still hanging.
I ironed 2 loads of things hanging.
I have been washing 2 loads.
Later, the dishes, wanna watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." I'm showered but need to change and put on makeup. Was gonna go outside.
I'm upset, yea, because things aren't going smoothly|right, but I cooled down, did not mean anything, just kinda like I said felt totally cornered. So, I just seethed I guess and finally figured I could post what was wrong later to like figure it out and let people know something that might be important for me.
Sorry for any of the bad things that came to my mind, maybe just 2 concrete things I didn't formulate on purpose. I figure since I started cursing @ the noises I heard no one likes me, but I can find people in the outcasts.
I have some things still hanging.
I ironed 2 loads of things hanging.
I have been washing 2 loads.
Later, the dishes, wanna watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." I'm showered but need to change and put on makeup. Was gonna go outside.
I'm upset, yea, because things aren't going smoothly|right, but I cooled down, did not mean anything, just kinda like I said felt totally cornered. So, I just seethed I guess and finally figured I could post what was wrong later to like figure it out and let people know something that might be important for me.
Sorry for any of the bad things that came to my mind, maybe just 2 concrete things I didn't formulate on purpose. I figure since I started cursing @ the noises I heard no one likes me, but I can find people in the outcasts.
Problem
Why does everyone who meets my mom have a fit and not wanna like me even though in some ways I'm better? They don't even know how much she's a lie to me, acting like I'm a flawed part of my dad..
Problem
My dad just pokes at me and irritates me giving me a feeling of wanting to hit and throw and break things.
Problem
They went unnecessarily further into something just because I posted about something they dipped in.
Problem
I feel I am being terrorized until I really am damaged. That's when I pick up and walk away. Things cannot linger like this since coming home from college just because I flunked to get out.
Honestly
Why do people close me up to people in ways I don't like? Then, they say it's something I did. That's something that's hard to fix. I feel turned off and not good. No one does that. I can already feel the stress triggers like all about. It's a real message, not just some thing to overcome and live through. This is my life. Why should I give in for a new 1? How have I lived a proper life? You all always bug me about that I don't live life.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Apology
I felt outta control in my dad's care, especially keeping it inside, do not mean it.
I am trying to get out of my problem and ignore things.
I am trying to get out of my problem and ignore things.
TV
The UFO crashed 1850 in Baton Rouge, LA. Red, the size of a house, by a President and his assistant. I think it got up after crashing. It hovered above them.
TV
Alien show.
1965. They show how much the adults care @ the little kids then. UFOs, people working with machines. Black and white!
1965. They show how much the adults care @ the little kids then. UFOs, people working with machines. Black and white!
TV
I just finished watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."
I am so uptight @ Johnny Depp coming tomorrow.
I am so uptight @ Johnny Depp coming tomorrow.
..and
..what I said wasn't supposed to mean something obvious so wasn't bad. Not a good idea, though.
Nell Burton
I always admired her and was interested in her from about the beginning. Later, something happened, people thought I wanted to say something mean about her. People were spying on me, things changed. I was to blame, all the earth had heard of my shame. I felt disdain and in much pain. I could not help my past bitterness at the situation.
I was wondering your opinion on her - link. She is just a nice girl, dunno why people go extra measures to instill feelings otherwise.
I was wondering your opinion on her - link. She is just a nice girl, dunno why people go extra measures to instill feelings otherwise.
Mister Cellophane
Why are these annoying people always noticing me? What's going on?
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Problem
My YouTube has done this before, but it got out of sync. This is rather disheartening.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Problem
You are so worried you're wrong you do something bad to me. That older lady sounded like she said, "I'll be in on May." I just didn't like them being mean. You try to get me stimulated by bad things. You smile @ it. My life is worthless cuza you. You all think you ^have^ to be mad @ me. I almost think my birthday with Mom all May @ all the Disney parks is part of a joke your your idealizational punishment. My therapist said hi and I had earbuds and spoke low.. :( Was nice, otherwise.
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Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
How long will she like singing like this?
You'd hope someone like her would be multi-talented in the arts using their talents. I did that. I really wanna be a movie actress. That's why I lost my voice. You know, ice skating to music helps. Being active retains the voice.
What a Big Thing for Us Parents
Think of the difference between Jackie Evancho and Amira Willighagen.
Amira Willighangen
1:16
Jackie Evancho
Jackie Evancho makes herself look like the generation of my age, but Amira Willighagen - she is a fresh new face of a fresh new generation, perhaps Generation Beta. There is Generation Alpha as Jackie Evancho's generation.
It certainly is pleasant to hear someone that young sing. I could sing as good as her. I recently found I could sing okay still. I'm not sure what to do, it probably isn't always okay anymore but used to be really good.
Amira Willighangen
1:16
Jackie Evancho
Jackie Evancho makes herself look like the generation of my age, but Amira Willighagen - she is a fresh new face of a fresh new generation, perhaps Generation Beta. There is Generation Alpha as Jackie Evancho's generation.
It certainly is pleasant to hear someone that young sing. I could sing as good as her. I recently found I could sing okay still. I'm not sure what to do, it probably isn't always okay anymore but used to be really good.
Defining Myself
I care @ others and how I act, but people sit on their hineys (butts) and dictate to me to do this and do that, like I need to make myself feel unattractive in order to foil (make others look good by yourself looking worse..) others! I want to get it over with so I can have fun like everyone else, if that isn't too mean.
Post by Those Who Kill.
By this last photo by someone else I saw 2 little shriveled babies hugging each other. This person calls out on her generation as a certain style, but you aren't even considering how old my mom is and I'm not supposed to tell.
Problem
Photo: Lying beneath this ghostly tree #mostlyghostly2 http://t.co/hKLm0ZCtGz
— Dani Thorne (@Dani_Thorne) April 10, 2014
This person is trying to mess with me, saying something big for me is nothing. She thinks that I am wrong in how I feel about her sister, who is also listed as #1 on my Twitter.
Problem
You can't get mad at me for not being like someone who just sits there and does nothing but smile and answer the simple questions. You think maybe you can point at my race, but here I am talking. I'm not a monster. Who knows who could be a monster?! I don't seem to be. You think that this person in my past was fine and I have the problem for talking about them. Anyone would know that if I told them, but I was more patient in their presence and they simply stole all the attention. You think I have attention now, but this person really was a problem for me in some way I've mentioned or something. I remember people got mad at this person a lot. Anyway, you are bringing it up just because of something I said and did not say how it was related to what I said, which seems to be true. You just want me to have to deal with this, and what I deal with is like not needed to be dealt with. You simply decided I was bad and the other person was good and bothered me. Now, you think "I admitted it." I said I don't agree, and it's about me. I almost pressed something and now this thing keeps loading by it, and it reminds me of someone or something.
Problem
I don't want my blog to be filled with this, but I don't like these messages. They are mean, did you forget? And they are threats to my well-being.
More Messages
I said something and now they wanna trade places with someone @ me moving to the New Orleans area. How *beep* is that?! What I said I didn't mean anything that was bad. It was about something bad. You simply took it in stride and are wasting my blog space. Then I got another message that someone wouldn't do something for me, like I'm a spoiled brat. They just randomly say anything. They have no right to spy on my and limit my options. They are also joking that someone was never mean to me when they were a lot. They like looked at me with a smile @ it. I wasn't even the 1 being mad at this person in their face. This person fought with me more recently in our relationship, at least twice, since I've been older. This person always finds a way to get in trouble, and they mirror it to my situation, and that is far from the truth. I got very little attention.
They won't stop bothering me. Now, they said what does ^some number^ mean? Like, I get less of something. They are making me wanna hit something. I think this is illegal. You should stop or let me hit something. They will get worse if I do, and it will put strain on me. I tried to ignore it, but this is gone too far. They just made it worse as I tried to mind my business.
They just said that a boy from England is like my opposite brother, and I care @ him.
They won't stop bothering me. Now, they said what does ^some number^ mean? Like, I get less of something. They are making me wanna hit something. I think this is illegal. You should stop or let me hit something. They will get worse if I do, and it will put strain on me. I tried to ignore it, but this is gone too far. They just made it worse as I tried to mind my business.
They just said that a boy from England is like my opposite brother, and I care @ him.
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